Boston Babble

Boston = Winnerville!!

2007-10-22T08:57:00.000-04:00

Twenty years from now, these will be known as the "good ol' days" for Boston sports fans. The Sox are going to the World Series, the Pats are 7-0, BC is ranked #2 in the country, the Celts will likely have the best team they've had since the 80s, and even the Bruins are knocking on the door of relevancy. Enjoy these days while they last!!! Bring on the Rockies! I can't wait for the series to start.

Does anyone else think that it was a little strange that Kevin Millar was at Fenway last night to throw out the game's ceremonial first pitch??? Yes, he's a former Sox player from the historic 2004 World Series championship team. Yes, he's a fun, engaging personality known for starting the 2003 rally cry "Cowboy Up" and infamous for having admitted to swilling some Jack Daniels before a game or two during the 2004 season. The particularly unusual fact of his appearance as Red Sox guest though is that he's currently employed by another MLB team, Sox AL East rival Baltimore Orioles. I'd be a little pissed off if I was an Orioles fan (not sure if they still exist) seeing Millar essentially saying, "I really wish I was here with you guys but I'll take my paycheck from the Orioles, thanks."

Thirteen and One-Half Games Up!!

2007-05-29T16:59:00.000-04:00

I guess all those fans chanting that stupid (and previously untrue) statement "Yankees Suck" were right all along. It'll be interesting to see how much longer Brian Cashman and/or Joe Torre stay employed by the Evil Empire. Even if Roger Clemens returns to his 1986 form, how much of a difference can he make at this point?? Should be an interesting summer.

P.S. It was nice to see Trot Nixon get a much deserved standing ovation yesterday. While not the most talented player in Sox history, he was always a hard-nosed and classy player who could be relied on to provide a great effort.

WEEI Whiner Line

2007-05-25T13:32:00.001-04:00

Since I drive to work now instead of taking the T, I've been listening to a lot more radio than I used to. I'm an inveterate channel-flipper but find myself tuning in most often to the wildly popular afternoon "Big Show" on sports radio WEEI 850AM. Veteran Boston sports guy Glenn Ordway serves as host and ringleader of the cast of characters who participate in the show's daily shouting match. Overall, the topics are standard sports radio fare (Celtics' NBA lottery debacle, Red Sox pitching match-ups, debates about whether Randy Moss can fit into the Pats regime, etc.) and the show can be mildly entertaining. For those not familiar with the format, Ordway concludes each show by airing segments from the "whiner line" in which callers leave messages that are occasionally funny, sometimes dull, but most often are mind-numbingly inane. But I still listen. Part of the show's appeal may be that it's amazingly consistent. The same cast of callers check in each day and a large percentage of the whiner messages come from recurring characters. The most consistently entertaining character is the "Bob Kraft guy." With his sl0w, rambling speech and slurred Boston accent, the guy sounds exactly like Kraft and the bits are almost always funny. The guy is amazing! In contrast, one recurring character whose popularity continues to baffle me is the "Glenn Ordway guy." Unfailingly, whenever he calls, his bits are met with howling laughter by the Big Show participants. Am I missing something? First, he doesn't sound anything like Glenn Ordway. Since when has Glenn Ordway had a southern accent?? The guy sounds more like former Clinton staffer and Louisiana native James Carville than North Shore native Ordway. Secondly, the guy is impossibly difficult to understand. Third, I also miss the significance of the final line in every one of his bits "You're making my point!" Please...if this post ever becomes google-able and some 'EEI fan in the know happens to stumble upon this post, can you please enlighten me as to what this bit is all about! Clearly, I must be missing some inside joke. In the meantime, I'll continue to listen.

The Celtic Curse: 1986-present

2007-05-23T10:04:00.000-04:00

"The Curse of Len Bias" continues to plague the Celts. As a former die-hard Celtics fan who desperately would like to regain my passion for the team, it's not just sour grapes that are feeding my ire this morning. For several years, I've felt that there must be a better process than the current lottery system which seals a team's fate based on the selection of four ping-pong balls out of a drum. I understand that the lottery system, by not necessarily assuring a team that it will get the top pick if it has the worst record in the league, is designed to prevent teams that are not playoff-bound from tanking it at the end of the year. However, these noble intentions are not realized by the current lottery system either, which doesn't give teams any greater incentive to work harder as the season winds down. The probability of the worst teams securing the top picks are far too low with the current system, and consequently, two pitiful teams that deserved to get top picks are relegated to selecting fourth and fifth. After Oden and Durrant, there are still some solid players left in the draft but it's unlikely that any of them will be the immediate game-changers that these two promise to be. Looks like the Celtics should be mired in mediocrity for some years to come.

American Idol Finale

2007-05-22T15:59:00.000-04:00

On the eve of the American Idol finale, I'm re-publishing an article I wrote about a year ago. Funny how things don't change much in a year. Here it goes:

I have a confession to make: I love "American Idol." I know, I'm a 33 year-old straight guy, not exactly a member of AI's target demographic. But I love the show nonetheless. What's crazy about my guilty pleasure is that I really don't even like the type of music that most contestants sing during their tryouts. How many times do I need to hear "Fame" or "Chain of Fools"?? So why can't I get enough of this annual parade of talented (a few) and talentless (most of them) singers seeking their shot at a recording career??Well, first, clearly part of the appeal of "American Idol" is the freakshow factor. For every aspiring Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, or Clay Aiken (contestants with legitimate singing talent) there are countless William Hung wannabes, seeking their own fifteen minutes of fame. Because of the "Hung phenomenon," it seems that nearly every contestant is looking for an angle, seeking to peddle their own gimmick to impress the three judges, or more importantly, get their face on camera. And with each increasingly bizarre performer, Simon Cowell's razor-sharp tongue seems to become even more brutal. His worst insults are usually preceded by the phrase "I don't mean to be rude but..." Of course you mean to be rude, Simon, and that's why America loves you. Effeminate male contestants - and damn, there certainly are a lot of them - are often the worst victims of Cowell's snide humor. Last week he told one male contestant: "Just what we needed: Sylvester Stallone's younger sister singing Paula Abdul." Another guy wearing green face paint was told that he looks like the "Incredible Hulk's wife." Affable judge Randy Jackson even caught some heat from a gay advocacy group last week when he asked presumably male (the jury is still out on this one - check out the picture below) contestant Zachary Travis, another reject: "Are you a girl?" Some people think the judges are just plain mean. A scowling Cowell was particularly venomous when he told rejected "Idol" wannabe Charles Berry: "I don't mean this disrespectfully... shave off your beard and wear a dress." Right, no disrespect there. Yeah, sometimes it's harsh, but it's always entertaining stuff.Another appealing feature of "American Idol" is the format during the first round of auditions. Since contestants sing their chosen songs without the benefit of background music, the first round offers a forum for showcasing raw singing ability, or lack thereof. Consequently, during an "American Idol" audition, when talent is there, it's clearly apparent. And when it's not there, it's also embarrassingly evident. There's no bass player or sound engineer to blame for a lackluster song. I'd love to see Britney Spears or Ashlee Simpson in front of the three judges without the benefit of musical accompaniment to drown out their real voices. My guess is that Simon might have a word or two to say about them.Certainly many of the contestants audition on a dare or to try to seize their moment in the spotlight by adding to the show's freakshow factor. In many cases, these contestants don't seem particulary miffed when they're laughed off the stage by the judges. But it's amazing how many horrific singers seem legitimately pissed off - often to the point of tears - when they're told that they don't have what it takes. This is probably due to the fact that most of these 16 to 28 year-old contestants grew up in an era when public schools put greater emphasis on bolstering kids' self-esteem rather than judging individuals based on their actual achievement; thus, many are not accustomed to honest criticism from authority figures (but that's a topic for a different blog). In any case, how can they not know that they suck???? But perhaps the best feature of "American Idol" has nothing to do with the judges' caustic comments. Rather, it's the joy of watching previously unknown singers, most of whom have no connections in the music industry, take their shot at stardom. In auditioning for the show, many are trying to fulfill the biggest dream of their young lives. Whether they make it or not, many of them walk away knowing they gave it everything. "I gave it my best shot," many of them say, "I guess I just wasn't good enough today but I'll be back next year." And more power to them. Maybe they will be better next year, maybe not. What's important is that they had a chance at their dream and gave it their best. Wouldn't we all love that opportunity?

What happened to my blog?!?!

2006-09-28T06:45:00.000-04:00

It's been THREE months since I've written a post. I know, very negligent. I just started a new job, so I guess I have a decent excuse. Currently (and unfortunately), things such as Microsoft Access, SAP, and budget spreadsheets seem to be more pressing issues than commenting on the cast in the latest season of "The Biggest Loser," for example. But I'll be back...especially with the new TV season, MA gubernatorial race, and the symptoms of seasonal affective disorder starting to set in, I should have lots to talk about within the next week. Stay patient!

ZOINKS!!!!

2006-06-21T12:53:00.000-04:00

While it was arguably the least funny long-running sitcom in TV history ("Full House" is the only show that I can think of that presents a compelling challenge to that view), I'll admit that I did watch "Saved by the Bell" throughout my teen-age years. It certainly wasn't "Must See TV" at the time but the show offered a few reasons to tune in: The girls were cute; I could relate to the kids as they progressed through high school since they were all about the same age as me; and most importantly, the show provided a benign, "no thinking required" thirty-minute escape each Saturday morning. Bayside High presented an unlikely social milieu where the details really didn't matter. Think about it. The Hispanic guy had the very Anglo surname "Slater" (good job for anyone who knew that the "AC" stood for "Albert Clifford"). Zach got a 1502 on his SATs (in my lifetime, it's been impossible to get a 1502 since the scores are calculated exclusively in increments of 10). And most bewildering was the fact that the "cool" guys (Zach and Slater) and the popular girls (Lisa, Kelly, and Jessie) in an image-conscious California high school would allow an annoying dork like Screech to hang with them. But that's the kind of kids that they were; sure, they got mixed up in all sorts of teen-age high-jinks (usually at Principal Belding's expense), but they were likeable, wholesole kids at heart just looking to have a good time as they cruised through school. Right?

Well, as the years have passed, a more complex portrait of the Bayside kids has emerged. First, Elizabeth Berkley (Jessie) starred in a mid-90s flop about a stripper called "Showgirls" that received universally dreadful reviews. Then Mario Lopez ruined his future with wife-to-be, uber-babe Ali Landry by cheating at his bachelor party. Way to go Slater!! Recently, Lark Voorhies (who played shopaholic rich girl and the desire of Screech's affection, Lisa Turtle)was said by a tabloid to be a major drug abuser; she's currently suing. And finally, we have beloved dweeb Screech, played by Dustin Diamond.
Currently, Diamond is hawking $15 t-shirts online emblazoned with his character's image and the name "Screeech" (with three "e"'s to circumvent copyright restrictions) in an effort to save his Milwaukee house from being foreclosed. He needs to raise $250K by the end of June to keep the home. Say it ain't so, Screech (sorry, I mean "Screeech")!!! On the verge of losing your home?? In MILWAUKEE???? Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Apparently, that rousing victory over Arnold Horshack (Ron Palillo of "Welcome Back Kotter" fame) in Celebrity Boxing back in 2002 didn't fetch enough money to bankroll your life in the Badger State. Anyway, best of luck with the fund-raising man!

MAKE IT STOP!!!

2006-06-07T09:15:00.000-04:00

Some questions that need to be asked on yet another rain-soaked spring morning in Boston: First, when will this dismal weather end? We're well into June now and I don't think I can take yet another day like this. And, secondly, where do all of my lost umbrellas go?? It seems like I buy a new umbrella every couple of months but they have the staying power of a Larry King marriage. If I had a cache of broken ones lying at home, it would be understandable, but this morning I couldn't even find any of those. Where do they all go? I know if Laura reads this she'll tell me, using my words of course, that I need to develop "a better system." She'll also probably accuse me, again using words that she has co-opted as her own, of "mailing in my performance" in writing my blogs lately. I'd agree with that....I need to get back into the writing groove. Hopefully, some sunny weather within the next week or two can give me some inspiration.

Wanted: Virgin Bride. Will Pay Cash. Pig Worshippers Need Not Apply

2006-04-23T20:14:00.000-04:00

While millions of other Americans have turned to online dating as a way to meet potential mates, Michael Thelemann has found his own method in the search for Miss Right. The divorced 45 year-old Oklahoman has posted a hand-written sign in his yard that expresses his desire to find a woman to marry. While this approach has been done before, what is particularly notable - and controversial - about Thelemann's frontyard advertisement lies in his message about whom he seeks and what he'll do to get her; he states that he wants a virgin bride between the ages of 12 and 24 and will pay $1000. Naturally, Thelemann's open expression of his desire for a much younger (and possibly underage) female companion has caused quite a stir among his neighbors. One woman stated that she feels like she's “living down the street from a pedophile.”

Thelemann counters the antagonism by stating: "I'm just somebody who is getting up there in years, and I'm looking for a born-again, God-fearing virgin between the ages of 12 and 24 who can bear me children. What's the problem? I just think I have some wicked neighbors."

''I feel like I'm living down the street from a pedophile,'' said neighbor Christy Sternadel. ''We want him out of this neighborhood. Who asks for a 12-year-old virgin bride?''

So far, no one has taken up Thelemann on his offer. Recently, someone stole the sign, so Thelemann put up another one, adding he’s also not interested in a “pig-worshipping, heathen, white-supremacist wife.” I'm with you on that part bro....if I had a nickel for every goddamn pig worshipper in the annals of my dating history, I'd be a wealthy man.

Kellie's Prom Dress

2006-04-06T22:51:00.000-04:00

My girlfriend will probably give me some crap for posting this photo but oh well... I'm curious to see how many views this will generate...probably a lot more than any of my previous posts!! By now, most people have seen the photo of "American Idol" hopeful Kellie Pickler from her prom a few years ago. I know I graduated from high school way back in 1991 and maybe the dress styles are different down in North Carolina than they are in Massachusetts but I don't remember the girls looking like this at MY prom!!

Excuses for not Blogging and other Madness in March

2006-03-16T12:52:00.000-05:00

I'm back. I know, I've been neglecting my blogging duties for over a month. But I have some good excuses, I think. First, during February Laura and I were away for one week on a Caribbean cruise (great time despite some so-so weather). In addition, last week I was away in Texas for some work-related meetings. All I'll say is that San Angelo is a nice place to visit - great people, especially - but I don't think this Boston boy could live there...and that's despite the fact that you can get a house with a pool for under $100K! Try that in this city! But no, Texas just isn't my cup of tea.

What other constraints on my time have I been faced with lately? Well, of course there are my weekly TV obligations. I'm embarrassed to admit that Simon, Paula, and Randy have held me hostage three nights a week. In other "American Idol" seasons, the freakshow factor maintained my interest in the early rounds only, but this year's crop of contestants keeps luring me back each Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Furthermore, I became surprisingly addicted to the Winter Olympics last month. In particular, I enjoyed witnessing douchebag Bode Miller (see previous post) become arguably the biggest bust in Olympic history. What else? Well, NCAA March Madness is starting today (I really like BC's chances this year). Oh, and of course, as St. Patrick's Day approaches, I'll be doing my best to celebrate my Irish-American heritage with regular appearances in the local bars. Actually, I got an early start last Sunday. I've found that among the many positive reasons for having a lovely girlfrind who lives in Worcester is that I have a viable excuse for attending both the Worcester and Boston parades on successive weekends. Like the city of Worcester in general, Wormtown's St. Patrick's Day celebration is very underrated (no cover charges!!) If Laura lived in Braintree or Holbrook, for example, it would be tough to justify trekking out on the Mass Pike to attend that St. Patty's celebration but now I have a perfectly defensible excuse! I also have to try to get in shape for the 5K road race that I'm running in on Sunday...oh well, at least I have some excuses if that doesn't work out.

My "American Idol" Confession

2006-01-30T10:25:00.000-05:00

I have a confession to make: I love "American Idol." I know, I'm a 33 year-old straight guy, not exactly a member of AI's target demographic. But I love the show nonetheless. What's crazy about my guilty pleasure is that I really don't even like the type of music that most contestants sing during their tryouts. How many times do I need to hear "Fame" or "Chain of Fools"?? So why can't I get enough of this annual parade of talented (a few) and talentless (most of them) singers seeking their shot at a recording career??

Well, first, clearly part of the appeal of "American Idol" is the freakshow factor. For every aspiring Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, or Clay Aiken (contestants with legitimate singing talent) there are countless William Hung wannabes, seeking their own fifteen minutes of fame. Because of the "Hung phenomenon," it seems that nearly every contestant is looking for an angle, seeking to peddle their own gimmick to impress the three judges, or more importantly, get their face on camera. And with each increasingly bizarre performer, Simon Cowell's razor-sharp tongue seems to become even more brutal. His worst insults are usually preceded by the phrase "I don't mean to be rude but..." Of course you mean to be rude, Simon, and that's why America loves you. Effeminate male contestants - and damn, there certainly are a lot of them - are often the worst victims of Cowell's snide humor. Last week he told one male contestant: "Just what we needed: Sylvester Stallone's younger sister singing Paula Abdul." Another guy wearing green face paint was told that he looks like the "Incredible Hulk's wife." Affable judge Randy Jackson even caught some heat from a gay advocacy group last week when he asked presumably male (the jury is still out on this one - check out the picture below) contestant Zachary Travis, another reject: "Are you a girl?" Some people think the judges are just plain mean. A scowling Cowell was particularly venomous when he told rejected "Idol" wannabe Charles Berry: "I don't mean this disrespectfully... shave off your beard and wear a dress." Right, no disrespect there. Yeah, sometimes it's harsh, but it's always entertaining stuff.

Another appealing feature of "American Idol" is the format during the first round of auditions. Since contestants sing their chosen songs without the benefit of background music, the first round offers a forum for showcasing raw singing ability, or lack thereof. Consequently, during an "American Idol" audition, when talent is there, it's clearly apparent. And when it's not there, it's also embarrassingly evident. There's no bass player or sound engineer to blame for a lackluster song. I'd love to see Britney Spears or Ashlee Simpson in front of the three judges without the benefit of musical accompaniment to drown out their real voices. My guess is that Simon might have a word or two to say about them.

Certainly many of the contestants audition on a dare or to try to seize their moment in the spotlight by adding to the show's freakshow factor. In many cases, these contestants don't seem particulary miffed when they're laughed off the stage by the judges. But it's amazing how many horrific singers seem legitimately pissed off - often to the point of tears - when they're told that they don't have what it takes. This is probably due to the fact that most of these 16 to 28 year-old contestants grew up in an era when public schools put greater emphasis on bolstering kids' self-esteem rather than judging individuals based on their actual achievement; thus, many are not accustomed to honest criticism from authority figures (but that's a topic for a different blog). In any case, how can they not know that they suck????

But perhaps the best feature of "American Idol" has nothing to do with the judges' caustic comments. Rather, it's the joy of watching previously unknown singers, most of whom have no connections in the music industry, take their shot at stardom. In auditioning for the show, many are trying to fulfill the biggest dream of their young lives. Whether they make it or not, many of them walk away knowing they gave it everything. "I gave it my best shot," many of them say, "I guess I just wasn't good enough today but I'll be back next year." And more power to them. Maybe they will be better next year, maybe not. What's important is that they had a chance at their dream and gave it their best. Wouldn't we all love that opportunity?

Can you tell me how to get to the Gumdrop Village?

2006-01-17T10:18:00.000-05:00

Well, unfortunately I'm not able to write a stirring essay about a great Pats victory this past weekend. It was a tough loss in which normally clutch players such as Tom Brady and Troy Brown made uncharacteristic errors. But life goes on...they'll be back next year and Belichick will find a way to lead them to the promised land. So what else is there in the news to write about? Well, I guess when all else fails, there's always some idiot to talk about, as I did with moron skier Bode Miller last week. This week we have a new one: This past Monday, New Orleans Mayor and Montel Williams look-alike Ray Nagin called for the rebuilding of a "chocolate" New Orleans that maintains the city's black majority, saying, "You can't have New Orleans no other way."

"I don't care what people are saying Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day," Nagin said in a Martin Luther King Jr. Day speech. "This city will be a majority African-American city. It's the way God wants it to be."

"Uptown" refers to a predominantly white area of the city, I've recently learned. So, chocolate, huh?? That's the way God wants it?? When he was asked to explain his comments, Nagin, who is black, told reporters that what he was referring to was the creation of a racially diverse city in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, maintaining that his remarks were not divisive.

"How do you make chocolate? You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk, and it becomes a delicious drink. That is the chocolate I am talking about," he said.

Uh....ok...that explains it....it's crystal clear now.

"New Orleans was a chocolate city before Katrina," Nagin continued, "It is going to be a chocolate city after. How is that divisive? It is white and black working together, coming together and making something special."

In his speech, Nagin also said "God is mad at America," in part because he does not approve "of us being in Iraq under false pretenses."

"He is sending hurricane after hurricane after hurricane, and it is destroying and putting stress on this country," Nagin said.

Imagine a white mayor of a predominantly Caucasian city expressing his desire to rebuild a "vanilla city"....I think such statements would get a lot more press coverage and he'd be the subject of considerable venom. But maybe the seeming lack of coverage about Nagin's comments is due to the fact that he's now regarded as such a buffoon and his comments don't warrant any discussion. Those comments do provide a good laugh though, don't they?

The Drunk Ski Idiot

2006-01-09T17:45:00.000-05:00

In my last post, I profiled a guy who's decidedly not the sharpest tool in the shed: self-professed "idiot" Johnny Damon. Well, compared to U.S. skier Bode Miller, our erstwhile center fielder could pass for Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito. If you saw the 60 Minutes feature on Miller last night you'll know where I'm going with this. If you missed it, Miller plowed into a snowbank of controversy when he revealed to 60 Minutes that in the past he has competed in international ski competitions while drunk. And what's even more shocking about Miller's interview is that, even though he knows he puts his life at risk in doing this, he can't rule out doing it again.

"Talk about a hard challenge right there. ... If you ever tried to ski when you're wasted, it's not easy," Miller told 60 Minutes, "Try and ski a slalom when ... you hit a gate less than every one second, so it's risky. You're putting your life at risk. ... It's like driving drunk, only there are no rules about it in ski racing."

Asked if the risk meant he would never ski drunk again, Miller replied "No, I'm not saying that."

Nice role model for young aspiring ski racers, huh?

Miller acknowledged that his partying has affected his performance in the past. "There have been times when I've been in really tough shape at the top of the course," he said.

Renowned for his similarly reckless skiing style, the defending World Cup overall champion and two-time silver medalist at the Salt Lake City Olympics, didn't seem particularly enthusiastic about the possibility of winning gold in Turin.

"Whether somebody wants me to get five gold medals or whatever it is, I sort of feel like they are all other people's concerns and issues, not really mine. ... I don't really care what everybody else says," he said.

So much for the spirit of patriotism. In the interview, the New Hampshire native seemed more like a petulant teen-ager trying to piss off his parents and act "cool" than the 28-year-old world-class athlete that he is. Miller has drawn attention - and criticism - for his outspoken attitude before. He has called the drug rules in skiing "a joke" and was fined last month for refusing to take a boot test after a World Cup slalom race.

Hey, a guy is entitled to his opinions and acting like a brat is certainly not uncharted territory in the sports world, but bragging about skiing drunk ain't cool, Bode. Just ask the family of the late Michael Kennedy. I guess Miller gives us conclusive proof that the four major professional team sports leagues don't own a monopoly on immature and obnoxious stars.

The Idiot Joins the Dark Side

2005-12-21T09:38:00.000-05:00

Well, they say that everyone has a price and George Steinbrenner found one for former Sox center fielder Johnny Damon: $52M over four years. The self-professed "idiot" will be taking his solid bat, massive ego, and embarrassingly weak throwing arm to the Big Apple next year. Hey Johnny, you better talk to former Yank Don Mattingly about where to find a good barber down in NYC. As Don knows all too well, George doesn't take kindly to "hippie" ballplayers. More on Johnny to come.

The Pats are Back

2005-12-20T12:51:00.000-05:00

Did you hear the nationwide "thump" this past weekend as pro football fans across the country jumped off the previously overcrowded Indianapolis Colts bandwagon after their home loss to the Chargers? Granted, Peyton Manning, Marvin Harrison, Edgerrin James, Tony Dungy, etc. lead an undeniably talented team and they're probably still a favorite to win it all. However, the Colts are also the most overhyped team in sports today. And now for a personal commentary: While I like his Visa ad (the one in which he asks a supermarket stock boy to sign his loaf of bread) and he seems like a solid citizen off the football field, frankly I'm growing a little sick of Manning's body language on the field. He constantly looks at teammates as if to say: "Hey, I did my job. It's not my fault. We didn't complete that play because you suck." In other words, he's no Tom Brady, who always places the collective performance of the team above his own contribution. Because of his gaudy stats, Manning is a darling of fantasy football team owners and is always in the discussion of league MVPs because of his numbers. Brady? Well, he just wins. It's become a cliche but it's true; Brady really is Joe Montana to Manning's Dan Marino. And despite all of the GQ covers and references in the Herald's "Inside Track" gossip column, amazingly Brady remains an underrated QB. And Belichick isn't even a candidate for coach of the year? That's a travesty when one considers how well this team has done in spite of its litany of injuries. Well, this fan is back on the bandwagon and I'm ready for an exciting playoff ride. Once again, I like our chances.

What Bostonians are Talking About

2005-12-08T11:40:00.000-05:00

In my November 23rd blog, I posted a picture of "The World's Ugliest Dog" who recently passed away at age 14. I was amazed that the article about the unsightly pooch remained atop Boston.com's hourly "most-emailed stories" list for almost two weeks and is, by far, the most e-mailed article in the last month, with a whopping 3964 users recommending the story to friends. The next highest? "Man Pleads Guilty in Horse-Sex Case." Yes, that's right, the one about the man from the state of Washington who indulged in "intimate relations" with an equine companion and then promptly died after suffering internal injuries. Ouch. Do you think alcohol might've been involved??? Another man, who videotaped the encounter, pleaded guilty to trespassing charges. And the third most e-mailed article? Well, that's "Two Drunken Moose Enter Home for the Elderly." The two moose, a cow and her calf, had become drunk over the weekend by eating fermented apples they found outside the nursing home in Sweden. Police managed to scare them off once, but the moose returned to get more of the tempting fruits. This second time, the moose appeared drunk and aggressive, forcing police to send for a hunter with a dog to make them leave. Good story. Hmmm...so what does this ranking of most e-mailed articles say about us as news readers??? Well, we obviously like stories about animals. Uncommonly ugly animals. People having sex with animals. Drunk Swedish animals who enter nursing homes. I suppose this makes sense. Animals are central to our lives. When beloved pets die, the grief is often more heart-wrenching than when human relatives pass away. We all love our animals. Just not in the same way as that barnyard Romeo out in Washington ...

Happy 40th "Charlie Brown Christmas"

2005-12-06T14:09:00.000-05:00

Of all the Christmas specials on TV each December, none captures the true spirit of the season quite like "A Charlie Brown Christmas" does. While other childhood favorites now seem a little stale, this 1965 classic is as fresh and timely as ever. "A Charlie Brown Christmas" returns tonight at 8PM EST on CBS.

And if you believe that story...

2005-12-02T09:06:00.000-05:00

Unfortunately, work has been extremely crazy lately so my blog has really suffered. I have a brief moment now to catch my breath, so I thought I'd post a message. So, what's happened in the last week? Well, over the weekend I learned that Nick and Jessica officially announced their split; I'll need years of therapy to get over my grief... :) In other news, in an act of desperation, on Wednesday night the floundering 8-13-5 Bruins shipped captain Joe Thornton to San Jose for three guys whose names are familiar only to NHL diehards (do those exist anymore?). What else? Oh, another case of a prominent sports celebrity acting badly (or maybe it was his friend...or his brother). Here's the story: About a week ago, former Dallas Cowboy wide receiver and Pro Football Hall of Fame semi-finalist Michael Irvin was charged with misdemeanor possession of drug paraphernalia after Plano, TX police officers searched his vehicle during a traffic stop. The incident started when Irvin, now 39, was stopped for speeding while heading with his wife to a furniture store. The cop pulled him over and found what the media is labeling a "drug pipe"--in interviews, it has been called a "crack pipe" and Irvin didn't correct them--and a baggy with marijuana residue.

What's interesting about the story is not that Irvin has been found with drugs but rather the convoluted story that he's using to deny the charges. He's saying the drugs weren't his. He told ESPN's Dan Patrick that he took the pipe off a friend who he's been trying to help kick a drug addiction, a friend Irvin says skipped out of a Houston rehab center earlier in the week and came to his house for Thanksgiving dinner. But, according to the police report, Irvin told the officer who stopped him that the pipe was left in the car by his brother. Then he told the AP on Monday that he called his friend a "brother" because the two are so close, but they aren't related. Irvin said he was going to toss it in the garbage, but instead put it in his car intending to drop it in a dumpster at a nearby grocery store later. Police found the pipe under the seat of the car, where Irvin admits he placed it. Now, whether the police officer had probable cause to search the car is something the lawyers will have to sort out. By all accounts, it was not in plain view and Irvin apparently did not give the police permission to conduct a search.

So where does this leave Michael Irvin? Since the arrest, Irvin has been suspended by ESPN for one week for not disclosing the arrest. However, the sports world is an extremely forgiving place, especially if someone is honest with the public. Part of Irvin's appeal as an ESPN analyst is that he's outspoken, opinionated, and frankly a bit of a rogue. Remember, this isn't his first arrest for drugs. In 1996, he pleaded no contest to felony cocaine possession in exchange for four years of deferred probation, a $10,000 fine and dismissal of misdemeanor marijuana possession charges. He also was arrested on drug possession charges in 2000, but they were later dropped. But still he found work, first as an analyst on Fox Sport's "The Best Damn Sports Show" and now ESPN. This time, however, his evasive explanation isn't helping his case. Not surprisingly, this mystery friend/brother has not surfaced. Nor has Irvin submitted to a urinalysis test, which seems like it would be a logical way to vindicate himself. Hey, Michael, if you're clean, take a drug test to prove your detractors wrong. If not, let's hear the truth; trust me, it will be much easier for you.

That's ugly

2005-11-23T13:42:00.000-05:00

I know that I used to see this guy roaming the alleys of Boston's Back Bay at night, but I didn't realize it was a dog! Sam, a Chinese crested hairless dog, who was widely regarded as "The World's Ugliest Dog" since earning that honor at the 2003 Sonoma-Marin Fair, has died at the age of 14. Rest in peace, Sam.

Home Depot and the Pencil "Thief"

2005-11-22T21:16:00.000-05:00

As the Boston Herald reported yesterday, "Home Depot did the math" and has decided not to ban a Lawrence man for a year after he accidentally walked out of a Methuen store with a 41-cent used pencil in his pocket Thursday.
http://news.bostonherald.com/localRegional/view.bg?articleid=113157

“We will not be pursuing any claims against Mr. Panorelli for this incident,” read a statement from Home Depot. “We welcome Mr. Panorelli back as a customer in our stores at any time.” Panarelli, however, is rebuffing their apology, and I don't blame him. “That apology doesn’t mean much to me,” he said. “I’m not happy with the way I was treated. I didn’t deserve to have a security guard asking me why I needed a pencil so bad I had to steal one.”

Here's what happened: Last Thursday morning, Michael Panorelli went to the store with George Salas, a homeowner who had hired him to do a window replacement. The two ventured to the molding and trim aisle and Panorelli asked Salas for a pen or pencil so he could jot down calculations and make markings on lumber. Salas picked up a sharpened carpenter’s pencil and handed it to Panorelli. Upon purchasing $117 in Home Depot supplies, Panorelli and Salas proceeded to exit the store. However, Panorelli was quickly stopped by security guards, who noted that he had not paid for the 41-cent pencil. He explained that it was a simple mistake and that he had accidently walked off with the item. To his amazement, Panorelli was shuttled into a back office, where he was instructed to sign a document that banned him from Home Depot for one year. He was told that the company’s lawyers would be contacting him within the next two months and might pursue civil charges.

Well, Home Depot eventually backed off but the damage has been done. Previously a loyal devotee of the store, Panorelli now says he'll never go back because of the way he was treated. Hopefully, Home Depot has learned a lesson from this. Granted, this is an egregious example of security personnel not having a common-sense filter to differentiate between an easily forgivable blunder by a customer who just spent $117 and premeditated crime. However, it does seem indicative of the way the customer service industry in this country tends to operate these days. Think about it: When was the last time that you REALLY felt valued as a customer?

Winter is coming

2005-11-18T16:44:00.000-05:00

I just took a walk down by Rowes Wharf. DAMN it's cold outside today! I'm not ready for another New England winter. I am, however, looking forward to my first trip to Medieval Manor tomorrow night....apparently, there's no silverware allowed. Should be interesting.

Earl's Brother

2005-11-18T00:06:00.000-05:00

Well, I started this blogging thing last Friday and I'm enjoying it. I've managed to post something every weekday so far but since time has been extremely limited today, I'll make this short. I wanted to mention that I have a new favorite "underrated TV actor": Ethan Suplee who plays Randy Hickey, the dim-witted brother on "My Name is Earl."

On the show, he's the dumber to Earl's dumb. The mouth-breathing character with the sluggish drawl and deadpan delivery was particularly entertaining on this week's episode when he stood motionless, as if in a trance, while watching sultry love interest Catalina dance. In short, Suplee is extremely convincing as a benign simpleton. I'm curious what he's like out of character; I'll have to check out some of his other projects. In my opinion, "Earl" and "The Office" comprise what is CLEARLY the best comedic hour on TV these days (NBC's Tuesday 9-10 time slot). Anyone want to challenge that?

Another question: Is anyone taking Cincy this week against Indy? Indy is favored by 6, which seems very low. The Bengals are a strong team but even at home, they should be no match for the Colts.

"Dude, wait'll the ladies see my new spandex!"

2005-11-16T16:09:00.000-05:00

Today has been crazy, so I haven't had much time to work on the blog. However, while perusing boston.com today, I found something that's worth noting. The site is asking readers to pick "The ultimate 80s hair band" from a collection of candidates "sporting mile-high hairdos, outrageous spandex costumes, and a party-hearty attitude to match."
http://www.boston.com/ae/music/packages/hair_metal_bands/

While the contest topic is certainly amusing, picking the "ultimate" hair-metal band seems a daunting task, primarily because there are so many different criteria to consider in the selection process. Best group from a musical standpoint? Probably Skid Row, possibly Poison. Most absurd high hair? Gotta be Britney Fox. Best groupies? Undoubtedly Motley Crue in their heyday. Meanest? Probably Dokken. Harshest screech? Anyone who's ever heard "Fly to the Angels" knows that's Slaughter. See, there are just too many tough decisions to make. In any case, the link is worth at least a quick glance because, if not for anything else, the photos are pretty damn funny.

Here's a shot of Ratt back in the day. I wouldn't want to meet THOSE dudes in a dark alley!

I'm moving out....

2005-11-15T13:55:00.000-05:00

About two years ago, I remember reading with amazement that the Old Homestead Steakhouse in New York City was charging an eye-popping $41 for a hamburger. That's right, $41. Sure, they tried to justify the price by saying that the burger was made from 20 oz. of grade-A Japanese Kobe beef. But, come on, who would pay that much for a burger??? At the time, the $41 hamburger seemed like a distinctly Manhattan phenomenon. Here in Boston we certainly have our share of exorbitantly-priced restaurants but I always felt that a buck in Boston goes a lot further than it does in the Big Apple. New York City, of course, is where the annual incomes of Times Square panhandlers consistently outpace those of well-regarded surgeons in Topeka, where a well-situated cardboard box in a Lower East Side back alley would easily fetch a better re-sale price than a split-level in Tulsa. That's Manhattan, I said, and a $41 burger is understandable because EVERYTHING is overpriced there. Or so I thought. Recently, I was astonished to read that Boston beat out San Francisco, Washington D.C., LA, and yes, even NYC, to be named the most expensive city in the country
http://www.boston.com/business/articles/2005/09/08/report_rates_boston_most_expensive_city/
The report found that last year, a family of four living in the Boston area needed $64,656 to cover its basic needs. This was $6,000 more than in New York City, and about $7,000 more than in San Francisco. Living expenses, which include healthcare, child care, and other basic needs, were $44,000 or less in Austin, Texas; Chicago; Miami; and Raleigh, N.C. Housing prices, the report notes, are rising much more rapidly than wages. In 2004, there were only 27 Boston-area communities in which a household whose members made the median income could afford the median-priced home in that city or town. Furthermore, even renters are feeling the strain. The report notes that even though there were 34,000 fewer rental households in 2003 than in 2000, 19,000 more rental households were paying more than 50 percent of their incomes for rent in 2003 than in 2000. It seems that prices have come down slightly in the last year, probably due to people re-locating away from the area, and lately I've been wondering why I'm not joining them. Think about it: Sure, Boston has lots of history, educated folks, and those beloved Red Sox, but the weather stinks, people are rude, and taxes are too high. We drive on paved cowpaths that clearly can't accommodate the number of cars on the road; they want us to take the MBTA, but that sucks too. "Disabled train" is a term far too familiar to us daily T riders. So, I've made my decision; I'm moving to Winston-Salem, NC where the winters are warm, the living is cheap, and I can even see quality baseball for only $5.50 per game. And besides, their minor league team has a cool nickname (the Warthogs) and the team actually has a working general manager. Theo knew when to get out of town and I think I do too.

"If you're going to die kid, die in the ring. It's good for business."

2005-11-14T12:58:00.000-05:00

Those words were spoken to famed WWE heel "Rowdy" Roddy Piper by a promoter back when he was a young man trying to break into the wrestling game. They are representative of the brutal nature of the sport (or "sports entertainment" as slimy WWE honcho Vince McMahon calls his cash cow) in which no gimmick is too unsavory in the federation's quest to make a quick buck. Granted, it's "fake," or "scripted" to use another McMahon term, but in many ways, it is very real. It's an unforgiving business in which being a jacked, muscle-bound wrestler is important but having a high threshold for pain is paramount. Accounts of life in the WWE chronicle a vicious cycle of self-inflicted abuse, as wrestlers medicate with painkillers, cocaine, and alcohol, and are routinely urged to get bigger and bigger through the use of human growth hormones. While I was never a huge wrestling fan, I always harbored a voyeuristic car-crash type of curiosity with its mix of rogues and intricate storylines. I always looked at it as a soap opera--albeit a violent one-- that guys could enjoy. For years, it remained one of the few bastions in American culture in which there was a definitive good guy (a "babyface," to use wrestling jargon) and a bad guy (a "heel"). Growing up, I could count on Hulk Hogan to defend our American liberties against evil outsiders like the Iron Sheik (the dreaded Iranian who wore a table-cloth style headdress) and Commie Nikolai Volkoff (who threatened to undermine our way of life by singing the Soviet national anthem). Sure, it was xenophobic and maybe a little insulting to our intelligence, but wasn't it fun to watch?? Anyway, when I began to hear about some wrestling casualties, I started to take note. The list of young guys (many in their 20s and 30s) dying far too soon, from both wrestling-related and non-wrestling causes, was staggering (see http://www.wrestleview.com/info/faq/deaths.shtml): Owen Hart (killed when performing a stunt in the ring), Dino Bravo (dead at age 44--mob hit), Junkyard Dog (rumored to be drug-related), "Ravishing" Rick Rude (heart attack possibly linked to steroid use), "Miss Elizabeth" (drug overdose), Big John Studd (liver failure), Andre the Giant, Yokozuna, "Mr. Perfect," The British Bulldog, many of the Von Erich clan...the list goes on. The latest casualty is Mexican-American Eddie Guerrero, who died yesterday at age 38. I remember Eddie the most for having the "cojones" to rock a mullet well into the 21st century. I think he just cut it off about two years ago. Heart failure is listed as the cause of death, and his history of drug and alcohol abuse is well-documented. Sadly, he leaves behind a wife and a few kids. It's a shame...another casualty of the WWE lifestyle.

Hello from BP!

2005-11-11T09:05:00.000-05:00

A blogging virgin no longer! Thanks blogger.com! I found your site when I attempted to find James Keown's blog and was directed to a link on this site. For those of you who aren't familiar with that name, he's that goofy-looking radio talk show host from Jefferson City, MO who is accused of poisoning his wife by mixing into her Gatorade a deadly ingredient used in anti-freeze. The apparent motive was a $250K life insurance policy which he was unable to collect because the circumstances surrounding her death remained a little sketchy. Following his wife's murder, he was living a carefree bachelor's lifestyle in the Missouri capital until he was nabbed by the police this week while on-air at his radio show on KLIK 1240AM. Anyway, I couldn't find his blog but I did find this outlet for my own thoughts. I'm a big fan of sports, movies, pop culture, travel, among a wide array of other interests. I'm an admitted Google addict and could easily spend hours sitting in front of a computer typing in random words and reading what pops up. I still have grandiose visions of writing the "Great American Novel" so maybe some ideas that I develop here will lead to that. I've gotta run now but I'll write more soon.