Can you tell me how to get to the Gumdrop Village?

Well, unfortunately I'm not able to write a stirring essay about a great Pats victory this past weekend. It was a tough loss in which normally clutch players such as Tom Brady and Troy Brown made uncharacteristic errors. But life goes on...they'll be back next year and Belichick will find a way to lead them to the promised land. So what else is there in the news to write about? Well, I guess when all else fails, there's always some idiot to talk about, as I did with moron skier Bode Miller last week. This week we have a new one: This past Monday, New Orleans Mayor and Montel Williams look-alike Ray Nagin called for the rebuilding of a "chocolate" New Orleans that maintains the city's black majority, saying, "You can't have New Orleans no other way."

"I don't care what people are saying Uptown or wherever they are. This city will be chocolate at the end of the day," Nagin said in a Martin Luther King Jr. Day speech. "This city will be a majority African-American city. It's the way God wants it to be."

"Uptown" refers to a predominantly white area of the city, I've recently learned. So, chocolate, huh?? That's the way God wants it?? When he was asked to explain his comments, Nagin, who is black, told reporters that what he was referring to was the creation of a racially diverse city in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, maintaining that his remarks were not divisive.

"How do you make chocolate? You take dark chocolate, you mix it with white milk, and it becomes a delicious drink. That is the chocolate I am talking about," he said.

Uh....ok...that explains it....it's crystal clear now.

"New Orleans was a chocolate city before Katrina," Nagin continued, "It is going to be a chocolate city after. How is that divisive? It is white and black working together, coming together and making something special."

In his speech, Nagin also said "God is mad at America," in part because he does not approve "of us being in Iraq under false pretenses."

"He is sending hurricane after hurricane after hurricane, and it is destroying and putting stress on this country," Nagin said.

Imagine a white mayor of a predominantly Caucasian city expressing his desire to rebuild a "vanilla city"....I think such statements would get a lot more press coverage and he'd be the subject of considerable venom. But maybe the seeming lack of coverage about Nagin's comments is due to the fact that he's now regarded as such a buffoon and his comments don't warrant any discussion. Those comments do provide a good laugh though, don't they?