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Sunday, April 23, 2006

Wanted: Virgin Bride. Will Pay Cash. Pig Worshippers Need Not Apply

While millions of other Americans have turned to online dating as a way to meet potential mates, Michael Thelemann has found his own method in the search for Miss Right. The divorced 45 year-old Oklahoman has posted a hand-written sign in his yard that expresses his desire to find a woman to marry. While this approach has been done before, what is particularly notable - and controversial - about Thelemann's frontyard advertisement lies in his message about whom he seeks and what he'll do to get her; he states that he wants a virgin bride between the ages of 12 and 24 and will pay $1000. Naturally, Thelemann's open expression of his desire for a much younger (and possibly underage) female companion has caused quite a stir among his neighbors. One woman stated that she feels like she's “living down the street from a pedophile.”

Thelemann counters the antagonism by stating: "I'm just somebody who is getting up there in years, and I'm looking for a born-again, God-fearing virgin between the ages of 12 and 24 who can bear me children. What's the problem? I just think I have some wicked neighbors."

''I feel like I'm living down the street from a pedophile,'' said neighbor Christy Sternadel. ''We want him out of this neighborhood. Who asks for a 12-year-old virgin bride?''

So far, no one has taken up Thelemann on his offer. Recently, someone stole the sign, so Thelemann put up another one, adding he’s also not interested in a “pig-worshipping, heathen, white-supremacist wife.” I'm with you on that part bro....if I had a nickel for every goddamn pig worshipper in the annals of my dating history, I'd be a wealthy man.


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